Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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