Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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