I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
