I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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