we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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