wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
