I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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