you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
