i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
