can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
two words...techno handjob
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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