I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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