Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize