your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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