You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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