I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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