So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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