He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
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I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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