We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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