Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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