it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
