I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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