Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
