if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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