My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize