My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My ass is underappreciated
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize