so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
