Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
