I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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