I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you inspire me to be a worse person
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
