are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
