I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
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Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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