Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
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