she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
