Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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