Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
