Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Randomize
