idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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