So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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