i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
