just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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