You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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