Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
