Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
