Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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