I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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