Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
