we have officially lost it.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
