Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
