I accidentally burped into my bong.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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