Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
