I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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