I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
