____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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