saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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