can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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