Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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