We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
